II By Ato Faith U14mcm2012

YOU CAN IF YOU THINK YOU CAN.

                Life is based on your thinking, the holy book said, as a man think in his heart so he is. Along time ago I developed what might be called an obsession. The obsession is to try to help people set the best from life and learn how to live with it.

                Many people are not willing to pay the price to excellent; they do not want to exert the effort necessary to shelter the surrounding, negative mind sets and barriers, yet in reality. The price not to succeed is greater than that of success 0r to excellent, personally I have always been fascinated by the tremendous qualities in the individual and by analyzing things human beings can do.

                So whatever it is you are feeling is a perfect reflection of what is in the process of becoming what you want to be. My mentor Dr Martine Lurther King Jr once (says) and I quote “most people offer the majority of their though in response to what they are observing. You see, all that are in the result of what we have through whatever the mind of can conceive it can achieve it.

                A man defiantly becomes what he thinks about, see to believe visualization is powerful tool not only in seeing, believing, when it comes to self efficacy believing in seeing reject .everyone has something they would like to change or improve. Every one goals, therefore self efficacy in universal appeal and wide spread need. Beyond that, it offers up some really great benefits for potentials. As is a student, your desire is to pass your examination, most importantly pass it very well and hoping that after your graduation you will secure a good job. Yes of course it is possible but it starts from the mind and hard work. No man ever reached to excellence in any one art or professor without having passed through the show and painful process of study and preparation, so work hard and prepare for the challenges of life to become a better person in life.

                By Ato Faith

                U14mcm2012

BY ATO FAITH BALA U14mcm2012

EFFECT OF DIVORCE.

This article summarizes many of the common psychological and emotional effects divorce has on men, women and children.

It may be helpful to understand a little about divorce and the typical effects it has on men, women and children. The divorce rate in the United States is the highest in the world. Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. Sixty seven percent of all second marriages end in divorce as high as these figures are, what is also true is that the divorce rate appears to be dropping the reason for this change are not clear, many people cannot effort to marry, another reason is that baby boomers was account for a large proportions your population are not longer 20s and 30s, their ages when divorce is most prevalent the society expectation is that divorce is less satisfying than married life.

Divorce associated with an increase in depression people expression of partner hopes and dreams, and life style. The financial reality of divorce is of often hard to comprehend; the same resources most now support almost twice the expenses. Fifty percent of all children are children of divorce.

Experience s on men and women on divorce.

1. Women initiate divorce twice often as men.

2. 90percent of divorce mother s has custody of their children even if they do not receive it on court.

3. Fifty percent people under guidelines are divorce women and children.

For men; men are unusually confronted with greater emotion adjustment problem than women.

2. Men remarry more quickly than women

3. Men are initially more negative about divorce than women and devote more energy in attempting to salvage the marriage.

In the last few years higher quality research which has allowed the ‘’metal analysis of previously published research has shown the negative  effect of divorce on children have been greatly exaggerated. The children of divorce suffer from depression, failed in school and got into trouble with the law actually children’s psychological reaction to their present’s divorce  vary in three degrees depended factor .the quality of their parent before the separation, the intensity and duration of the parental conflict and the parent’s in their ability to focus on the needs of children in their divorce.

People choose to divorce for many reasons, sometimes a spouse is unfaithful in other situations ‘the partners cannot reconcile dis-agreements and they become hostile or bitter toward each other. Many times one marriage partner feels that the other does not meet his or her emotional or physical needs even though the relationships between people and regardless of the suffer from the broken relationship. My opinion is that, divorce is not the best solution, it both effect the children, man and the women, inclusion divorce is not the best solution and divorce is not good at all.

                                                                                                                                                                            BY

                                                                                                                                                                 ATO FAITH BALA

                                                                                                                                                                 U14mcm2012

III BY NUHU FLORENCE U14MCM2021

            SELF-EMPLOYMENT WEAPON TO UNEMPLOYMENT

              BY NUHU FLORENCE U14MCM2021

 As the saying goes; ”an idle mind is the devil’s  workshop,” undoubtedly and it is only when the mind and hands create a vacuum that any  filthy negative thought can COME in and stay.

Issues have been raised and question asked about why the number of employed adults and youth continue to soar in the country. Despite the series of programmes and schemes aimed at tackling the dreaded epidemic called unemployment by the past and present government of the federation of Nigeria supported by some private organization and agencies. The problem continues unabated.

Currently research has shown that unemployment rate is at  23.9% and unemployed youth population is put at 20.3 million and Nigeria has been living on the edge  for the past five  years .a report  compiled in December 2008  by the federal ministry of youth and development ‘state as of then that Nigeria generates  about 4.5million new entrant into the labour market annually .this statistics was made up of one million people out of the school system 22million primary school leavers not proceeding to the secondary school leavers not proceeding to the tertiary level and 300,000 tertiary graduates looking for placement  anywhere for productivity.

The federal ministry of youths and development in 2011 reported that 42.2% of Nigeria’s youths and population was out of jobs .before then, House of Representatives committee on youth and social development announced that 23 million unemployable youth in the official statistical presentation is nothing compared to the reality of the situation

In an attempt to tackle this dreaded epidemic of  unemployment confronting the country ‘the government often in collaboration with the private sector ‘have embarked on youth employment  programmes’ leading to the establishment of national directorate of employment [ NDE]the small and  medium enterprises scheme and  medium enterprises schemes; the poverty alleviation programme, subsidy reinvestment and empowerment programme [sure-p ;and the youth enterprise with innovation in Nigeria [YOUWIN]. All these efforts are to no avail as there are yet thousands of unemployed youth including the graduates.

However, these employment and empowerment programmes have been largely coloured by favouritism and nepotism because they are tied to political partisanship and benefited by few individuals. In this regard, there were complains by some graduates who commented at Nairaland forum (www.nairaland.com/1278778) that they applied for some months and there was no reply. For example, Netebo jones who registered with the SURE-P as Graduate Internship Scheme (GIS) on January 28, 2013 comments that “pls naira Landers wish to know more bat this gis tin, cos i have got the unique beneficiary code since January bt still wish to get attached to any company, any person with thesame prob. In the house?”                                                                                                                               

Notwithstanding, the question is. Must everyone be employed? Cannot a Nigerian or a Graduate be self-employed? In Nigeria the concept of self-employment is not well regarded, as it has become a culture that as Graduate, it is expected for one to either be employed by the government or a private company .  the idea of entrepreneurship is seen as an affair of the rich who have enough capital to start up a company or any large establishment , but for someone to start up a little business is seen as boring and time wasting

 To be self employed is for one to work for himself instead of working for an employer that pays a salary or wages. A self-employed individual ‘earns his income through conducting profitable operation from a trade or business that he operates directly,                                                                                                     think of selling recharge cards, frying of “akara” cooking indomie and egg with tea ,roasting of meat popularly known as “tsire” and balango and lots of other things which need a little capital to start as that itself is self-employment, even for a graduate.

Coupled with the efforts of the government to tackle unemployment cases in Nigeria, self-employment serves a major role in calming of angry and desperate unemployed youth prowling cities and the ending influx of youth into the urban centre eke out a living. A situation which poses further threat to an already precarious state of national security.

If you are considering self-employment and do not already have an idea of what you want to do, you could consider something which your wealth of experience or skills could be an added advantage and be a plus for the business because you had previously done it as a hobby for example, as a graduate who takes pleasure in cooking, he or she can open a restaurant. As a self-employed person, you will need some money live on as well as money to start up this business and keep it going. You may be able to get money from family or friends, loan from family or friends, grants from charities or trust, loans from banks and building societies. It is high time for people to look inwards, take stocks of their abilities and start up something instead of looking up to government or any private sector. You can employ yourself and even employ others. Nigeria is a blessed country with several opportunities which need to be identified and utilised. As advised by entrepreneurship experts, there are many unutilised opportunities around but people tend not to realise and make use of them.

However, to be self-employed is to initiate an idea and act on it to earn a living which goes a long way in reducing the population of unemployed youths in the country. And also, it does a lot in giving employment opportunities to other unemployed individuals.

II By NUHU FLORENCE U14MCM2021S

CAN DATING RESULT TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE?

By NUHU FLORENCE U14MCM2021S

It is no longer news that the excessive trauma experience in many marriages and breaking down of several others is due to several reasons beyond the ordinary human understanding and acceptance.

          Comments like; “had I known” “I would not have married you” and “I don’t know you are such a beast”, are among some several complaints by some people who are faced with disappointment and difficulties in their marriages. Some regret the choices they made after marrying their partners.

          Now, the question is, why are marriages these days confronted with challenges, conflicts and misunderstandings that results to separation, since the choices were made by the two parties. What then comes along the way?

          The answers may not be farfetched from the fact that some people’s cultures and religion ignore the vital necessity for intending marriage couples to pass through a romantic exchange of deeper understanding of each other to know likes and dislikes  before marriage which is called dating.

          However, can dating assure a happy marriage?

What then is dating? Dating is a 21 century phenomenon that started as a form of recreation but today, it is the main route through which courtship and mate selection emanate.

According to relationship experts, dating can be classified into casual stage. The casual state of dating is just the common closeness to either a boy or girl without affection or likeness, followed by the going steady stage where two opposite sex individuals begin to develop likeness for each other. The engagement stage is a situation where the two opposite sex would have an agreement to marry each other .if couples go through these stages of dating, can it guarantee a happy marriage?

          Inspite of the promising ideas and reasons for dating, some people are not convinced with the magic of dating which is aimed at preventing regrets in marriages and providing immunization for the breaking down of many marriages. Dating does not work for some people. Miss  Patience, a resident of pyeyi, wukari, says from her experience is not important and so she discourages the practice.

According to her, a guy dated her for eight years full of promises and love but later the young man ridiculously went and marry a woman from his hometown. For her “dating is a mask enclosed with hypocrisy and deceit” because some men hide under the umbrella of dating with pretence of making untrue promises aimed at keeping a girl for their selfish desires. This situation can bring in place the questions some married people do ask like; so you are this wicked? In this regard, can dating guarantee a happy marriage?

          Regarding the issue of hypocrisy, deceit and pretence during dating, the reason why the heart of man was described by God in the bible as desperately wicked, and why God regretted creating man comes to mind. The heart of man is unpredictable, uncertain and hardly to be trusted, but does that mean that no man or woman should be trusted? I don’t think so because if you don’t trust somebody you cannot stay in a place with such a person even on the basis of marriage.

          Some individuals are of the opinion that dating is necessary and it should  be based on the foundation of God.

          According to Mrs. Dafi Benjamin, dating assures of a happy marriage in the sense that it gives the opportunity for one to choose a man or woman of choice, knowing the likes and the dislikes of such an individual which to her should be based on the standard and foundation of God.

          When asked about the pretence and hypocrisy, she said even though half bread it better than none, long term dating should be avoided because it may lead to loosing of faith and the tendency of committing sexual immorality, and other unfaithful acts against God’s regulation and standard. She also noted that during dating if a person discovers that the partner is not worthy, he or she should not marry or pretend but should change such partner to another.

           In the same vein, Mr. Dafi Benjamin opined that, “dating before marriage is good, it gives you time to choose the right partner, to marry”

          According to him, during that period you will know if the partner is capable of catering for a family or not, and also whether the person has a fear of God or not.

          Benjamin noted that, “it is lack of dating before marriage that brings about collapse of such marriage today; singles should be sincere and open during dating so that vital signs and incompatibility will not be missed out”.

          In Nigeria, there are cultures and traditions that does not the value and necessity of dating before marriage. For example, in atypical hausa community, marriage can occur when the parents and the wedding takes place.

          Sometimes the couples might discover that they do not have feelings for each other, but for the fact that their parents approve, they feel it is compulsory for them to stay together. Consequently, communities experience a high rate of divorce. However sometimes parents move toward sustaining family relationships and decide joining their children into marriage even though the children might not have interest in each other or families negotiate marriages for their children aimed at strengthening business relationships.

          Nevertheless, in modern civilized society the need for dating before marriage cannot be denied as it serves as screening period for intending marriage couples to share ideas and minds aimed at achieving a happy marriage.